Now hold on a minute before we go much further, give me a dime so I can phone my mother

I have had so many ideas for today’s blog but I have forgotten them. It could have been good. Honest.

So let’s get back to comics instead.

Now how good was Warlord. I got this from the start. I loved toy soldiers, Action Man, the old black and white World War 2 films that were on all the time in the early to mid 70s, and then comics like this. Just brilliant. Probably better overall but not as easy reading were the Commando little booklet type comics. They seemed to be from a different age.

Hold on, this is becoming a nostalgia trip and little education or fact. I will give you facts matey son.

The UK’s first comic was ‘Betty’s Unruly Bloomers’ which came out in the 1880’s and had only one feature cartoon (plus adverts) about scullery made Betty and her large hessian-sack based bloomers which used to fall down / be found in odd places / get stolen etc. It was a comedy piece with some subtle social comment too (e.g. she could only afford the one pair and they were very itchy). The first edition is now going for £1.2m!!!

As well as The Beano, I went on to get Roy of the Rovers, later Warlord and then 2000AD. I mean how good was the artwork?

Uncanny. They experimented on my brain too mate!!

Right I’m bored now. Let’s get back to my big fat sausage finger.

So, I saw a Consultant Rheumatologist last week. I am sure she knows her job but why oh why did I have to strip to my pants when I had gone in with a fat finger??? If I had known I would have put smart snug pants on, not scraggy faded loose ones with red love hearts on that gaped open with every muscle stretching thing I had to show her. I felt dirty.

Still it was also my birthday so afterwards me and the boy met for brunch. For me, brunch means a Full English plus chips. You can have that from 10.30am until approx 11.45am for that to constitute brunch. For us it was about 11.30am.

Here is a bacon rasher similar to one I ate on my birthday.

Mine had no dirt on it however.

We then went for a dad and son haircut for the first time together for I reckon a dozen years at least. Better still we had a wet shave and beard trim too. My ears and nostrils were so bushy apparently that I needed double waxing. The barber said I looked 17 years old after which was really good to hear. My barber is very clever and astute.

No birthday evening meal out, We saved that to yesterdays. Cosmo in Romford. Imagine an all inclusive buffet with food from round the world. I enjoyed my outing immensely and sampled Innuit whale blubber, Siberian husky thigh and the delicate flavours of Javan dung beetles marinaded in lime juice.

Dump trip today. I assume I am not the only person who likes throwing things in enormous skips? I had to do some sawing of timber too and I looked the business.

Was the last tale so exciting that your heart missed a beat? If so, that was a good link as in Turin the subject of ‘I am the beat’ by The Look came up.

Now it seemed a bit novelty but now it sounds really good. Number 6 in 1981.

Two things though. Firstly it turns out my mate Don worked with one of The Look. Forget which one.

Secondly, if you had the single you would know that the record never ended. It was manufactured in such a way that when the record reached the end (i.e. when the needle went into the runout groove) it carried on playing as music was recorded there. So it played forever singing “I am the beat, the beat, the beat…….”. Apparently the most famous example of music in a runout groove is with The Beatles Sgt Pepper ‘s LP.

So people in bands you knew? I knew the guitarists from The Siddeleys Allan briefly in the late 80s when we both went on a residential training course for the CPSA trade union. After over indulgence I was sick in the night. Unfortunately all over my only pair of jeans. I washed them in cold water but they were still wet in the morning and smelled rank. I therefore poured Aramis aftershave all over them to disguise the smell and at tea break time rushed back to my room and put shorts on pretending that as the sun was shining I wanted to strip off. Great days. Allan is on the left in the pic below.

Who did you / do you know? I know those with connections to Lush, The Stranglers, Spandau Ballet. My aunt, as many of you know, was one of (Martha and) the Vandellas, so beat that commoners!

Talking about rude people. When dog walking yesterday a man shouted ‘F**k off!’ at me and / or Max, but I only realised afterwards when someone told me. By then a possessed evil woman had had a go at us for no reason. Apparently she is well known. Here is what she looked like.

Something like that. Or maybe…..

If you see her, just run as fast as you can. Run!

Music. Today, whilst playing pool in the shed, I listened to Siouxie and the Banshees greatest hits, The Undertones greatest hits and Slowdive by Slowdive. I have the best taste.

Three birthdays today. Happy birthday little bruv Neil – we are twins, born two days apart in different countries. I got the brains and the looks and he got Scotland. Happy birthday wee fella Shaun who comes from Morecambe like my dad but has six fingers on each hand like the folk of Burnley. Happy birthday Wayne you Sam Allardyce look-a-like; he has drunk more beer than Viola Club Stockport combined in his life.

Morecambe. Originally Moricambe, from the Latin for floating isle / land. Morecambe was indeed a floating land, broken off from north east Ireland, which eventually reached land in what was to be become west Lancashire. Strange but true and here is proof.

Right I have run out of facts and information for now. Time to go and do sexy dancing for Mrs Bob.