This is the return of the space cowboy, interplanetary good vibe zone

Like buses…..

So what I did on my 18th.

Firstly this is me. At my 18th party.

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As you can see it is not the wildest of parties. A small group of my best (only?) friends came to my house and we had the record player on the floor of the lounge. We mainly played The Smiths This Charming Man and the B-side Jeanne all evening as Mr C only liked that from all my jazz-funktastic grooves. I assume that is why I am holding a daffodil. The umbrella? No idea.

Please note my lovely mane of hair, my top northern tache, my stylish football socks and my 10p jumble sale shirt which I loved. Julie and Lucy – as I was reminded the other night made me a lovely marble cake with smarties.

Why tell you this pointless tale of my low key but very happy party I hear you ask? No reason whatsoever, but it is my blog and I can. So there.

My mailbox has been full this week with questions for me to answer, as I am now known for my wide knowledge and education.

  • Dear Bob – What is the biggest fish you have caught whilst in disguise? – love an admirer x

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Well, ‘admirer’ I hope this answers your question. It was a 25 lb tuna I caught on a boating lake in Rhyll whilst deep undercover on a case for MI5 as Phil ‘The Druid’ Bananas.

  • Darling Bob – Has your son Carey Jnr (male) ever met ex-England rugby union captain Jason Leonard? – Infatuated and loving you, your no 1 stalker xx

Jason Leonard

Well my stalker, yes he has – here he is showing the engagement ring Jason had offered him but he had to decline as at the time he was under 16 and he also prefers the opposite sex and also I made it up and it was not an engagement ring.

  • My sweetlove Bob – in a recent blog you featured the album cover ‘A suggestion of artichokes’ by the seminal band Pigeon Drumstick. How did they get their name? – death will unite us, Mad Ms X

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Dear Mad Ms X, here is the actual Pigeon Drumstick. On a football trip to Bergamo, to see our beloved Fiorentina play Atalanta (merde!) we ended up at a Michelin-starred restaurant. From our angle not the cheap trattoria we were after; not the huge portions we were after….but we had given up looking for somewhere.

For the diners – posh ones – a load of pissed up male models was the last thing they wanted. Steve – ex-Chippendale pictured above – found his menu choice was off so went for the pigeon. As you can see, the main leg portion was not that substantial for any one of us growing lads. The consummately professionally waiter asked ‘how did sir find the pigeon?’. Silence. ‘Sir…….?’ ‘Well there could have been a bit more of it……’.

Now I’m as posh and cultured as the next homme but give me a Greggs anyday. Interestingly, pigeons in Stockport have been reported to be appearing without legs ever since…..

  • Oh Bob, you most gorgeous of specimens – what is cancrinite? – let’s get jiggy, KM x

cancrinite

Well my spinning around lovely, cancrinite is a complex carbonate and silicate of sodium, calcium and aluminium with the formula Na6Ca2[(CO3)2|Al6Si6O24]·2H2O. It is classed as a member of the feldspathoid group of minerals; the alkali feldspars that are poor in silica. Yellow, orange, pink, white or even blue, it has a vitreous or pearly luster; a hardness of 5-6 and an uneven conchoidal fracture. It is unusual among the silicate minerals in that it will effervesce with hydrochloric acid due to the associated carbonate ions. Found originally in 1839 in the Ural Mountains, it is named after Georg von Cancrin, a Russian minister of finance.

More ‘Ask Bob’ soon.

For our tea tonight we had Chinese takeaway. I ordered some sweet n sour chicken. An obvious choice I know but it really complements the myriad of oriental flavours that assault one’s taste buds and moreover is a dish of mystery……..

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It was during the Xia dynasty (2070–1600 BC) that we first find any reference to sweet n sour chicken, but as an aphrodisiac! The Xia rulers were known to rub the dish over their bodies in a coital ritual before battle to calm their nerves and so enhance their love-making!!

Sweet n sour chicken then seems to vanish from memory until the Qin dynasty (221–207 BC). This time though it’s use was far more reflective of the cultural renaissance of the period (n.b. the fact that the Qin Emperor presided over the brutal silencing of political opposition, including the event known as the burning of books and burying of scholars should be put to one side). Yes, our tasty, tangy dish was used by Qin women as both facial make-up AND headwear (the word ‘bonnet’ derives from the Chinese word ‘Bo-xit’ meaning Poultry-face).

It was not until the Ming dynasty (AD 1368–1644) that we see the birth of sweet n sour chicken as a foodstuff, when a young peasant boy, starving and unable to care for his elderly parents and pet duck Lulu was forced to use his mother’s face pack as food. The picture below shows an actor recreating this seminal moment.

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And so to the present day etc etc.

See I am a proper historian. My degree means something. I can learn the lot of you!

To end today’s blog I give you Jay Kay, the cat in the hat, Jamiroqui, together with his doppelganger.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “This is the return of the space cowboy, interplanetary good vibe zone

  1. Simon, international man of mystery March 5, 2018 — 6:04 am

    The cat in the hat would make more interesting music. Jamiroquai signed a 5 album deal… Just a shame the record company forgot to put the word ‘different’ in the contract.
    Love the blog.

    Like

  2. Thank you SIMM. A bit harsh that on J-Cat. A little jealous perhaps as you own smooth intergalactic funk failed to gain a record deal?

    Like

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